Monday, January 18, 2016

Reconnection

Sometimes we think we should have named our blog "Busy Kinksters" because, if you go back through our posts, many of them whine about how busy we are, how we have a lack of time for our kink...that sort of thing. So...today's post is no different!

It feels like we've been on the go almost constantly since before Halloween. For most people, the holidays are a time like this, but since we were off in a foreign country for the month of November, then back for a few weeks to prep for the holidays--plus I had another international trip during the month of December--it's been crazy.

A few days before Christmas we traveled again to see family, flying to two different cities. As soon as we got back after New Years Lizzie's brother and his family came to stay with us for over a week. So if it feels like we haven't had a lot of time to ourselves it's because, well, we haven't.

So after Lizzie's family left we were able to have our first weekend to ourselves since early December. And that was important for us, for our connection, and for our commitments to one another not in terms of our marriage but in terms of our D/s relationship.

Before I left work Friday I texted Lizzie some specific instructions for things I wanted and expected when I got home, including dinner, drinks, how I wanted to see her undressed and how I wanted our bedroom prepped for a scene.

For Lizzie, this is almost the best foreplay in the world. It's breathtaking to her when a text like this arrives. It builds anticipation. Sets a stage. She then sets to prepping for the evening and the scene, thinking about what may happen.

Sometimes I tell her specific implements to get out, other times I'll instruct her with things like, "Pick your three favorite implements and three you hate the most." This is in itself a form of paradox play because Lizzie knows that if she picks implements she doesn't truly hate I'll know, and I'll punish her for it.

Friday was about reconnection, so I simply said, "Pick six implements." That opened it up for what she had been craving, which was alright by me.
The last few months have been really hectic. But if all you wanted was to hear me say that, you could read any of our posts over the past few months. I’ll leave you to review those or read Craig’s synopsis.

One of my favorite ways to start a scene, whether I’m writing a fantasy story or engaging in real action, is to get detailed instructions. On Friday, Craig started the scene a couple hours before he got home from work with a text.

He gave me detailed directions for preparation of the scene, including the instruction to pick six implements of my choice and lay them out on the bed. The implements I choose are shown in the picture.

I didn’t know what he had in mind for the implements, so I had a difficult choice to make. This choice was further complicated as I looked through our toy bag. As it turns out, I don’t know from looking which implements I like and which I don’t love. It’s only when Craig uses them on me that I form an opinion, which wasn’t very helpful in this instance.

Craig and I never talked about why I made the selections that I did for this scene. But I’m going to share that with you now. From the left of the picture:

I think of this wooden paddle as the “naughty paddle”. I don’t have a clue why I’ve named it this. And this name lives only in my head; Craig never calls it that. But this paddle lives in a special fabric bag, so I got it out for the occasion.

The second paddle is some kind of rubber or synthetic material. I picked it out because we bought it recently at my insistence. I suppose I feel that, because I wanted the paddle so much, I should want it used regularly. As a matter of fact, I rather it weren’t used regularly. This is one of the few implements that is unusual enough that I remember exactly what it feels like. It’s stingy and I hate it. But I wanted it, so I set it out.
She met me just inside the garage door as instructed, naked and prone on the floor. I had her rise and we went to the bedroom for what was an unannounced Hundreds Scene. (You can read about what that is HERE.)

Normally I'll tell her it's going to be that, particularly when she has to pick implements she dislikes because then she has to think about how many times she's going to be hit with that/those dreaded implements. Friday it was a surprise.

But more than the kind of scene or the implements used or the anticipation built, the important thing to note is that we reconnected. I pushed Lizzie. She cried. The intimacy of a scene like that is so different from the daily intimacies we experience in our marriage. The aftercare, and the connection we have in those minutes, can be so intense.

The reconnection we experience and the display of our commitment of service that we have toward one another in our D/s relationship and dynamic needs to be reconfirmed, even though Lizzie does small things of service that are part of our daily routine.

In the end, I'm glad we had that time. More importantly, I'm glad we remind ourselves that those moments of reconnection are so important to us.
The third is a strap Craig got from Ian, the London Tanner. I picked that one out because, well, it’s a strap. And I love straps. As a result, our toy bag contains several different straps. This one, with the London Tanner stamp, is one that I recognized.

The fourth is a paddle shaped like a wooden spoon. We’ve broken too many wooden spoons to contemplate, but this paddle is far more sturdy. I couldn’t remember if I loved this paddle or hated it. (Perhaps it is most accurate to say that I love to hate this one.)

The fifth is an OTK strap. This is another strap that I recognized as one I particularly enjoy. The unique way the handle is made is probably why I recognize it.

Finally, I had to pick my heavy, leather paddle. This is a favorite of mine. It’s heavy and thuddy. It has all the lovely aspects of a thick wooden paddle but with the warmth of leather in place of wood. More importantly, I know Craig loves to use this paddle. Years ago, he fell in love with mine at a party and ordered one of his own. The one pictured and used for this scene, however, was my original paddle.

We shared an incredible, intense scene. Despite the difficulty involved in finding time for these scenes at times, they are an important part of our dynamic. A very special, intimate part of our lives together.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Happy New Year!

We left town for 12 days to celebrate the holidays with families in two different states. We're back, the decor is packed up and put away and we are back to bloggin'.

I love having the holiday decorations up. It's so nice to see the decor and the ornaments and enjoy such a festive environment. But you know what I like almost as much? When that decor is packed up and the house returns to normal. It's almost like the place had shed off some extra pounds and is looking so clean and svelte again.

We had a great holiday. When we go back to Lizzie's home on the farm we are always inundated with her big family coming to visit, stay over at our place, stay for parties. It's great, but it's hard to find time to ourselves. Fortunately, we did manage a few times to play.

We considered it in Arizona when we went to spend Christmas with my kids, but with my son in the next room, that just wasn't in the cards. We finally found the time at the farmhouse to get in a really nice OTK. With all the hectic chores and activities at the holidays it was great to get my lovely bride across my lap. And I reddened her bottom quite a bit as well.

We arrived back home Sunday night and before some family came into town to visit for 10 days (once again killing any opportunity for us to play) I got in another wonderful and hard OTK (along with my trusty nanny paddle for good measure) before things began to get hectic at home all over again.

Hopefully you all had a great holiday season, Fellow Kinksters. Here's to an amazing and exciting New Year full of pain, pleasure, lust, and kink.
The holidays can be a difficult time for me. There’s so much to do - shopping, decorating, and planning. And it feels like there’s never enough time to do it all. But it’s a wonderful time, as well. Full of visiting friends and spending time with family.

Unfortunately, all of that activity can cut into our kinky time. Even when we’re busy, our D/s is an important part of our lives. And despite all the insanity, we find moments to play and enjoy one another.

But we rarely have time for a big scene. Those have to wait until things settle down. And this year, it looks like that won’t happen for quite awhile. We’ve extended our holiday season with visitors to the length of the college winter break.

During a break in the festivities, we found time for one solid scene. The picture comes from that stolen afternoon. I’m not sure how we finagled that time alone, but we did and I’m glad for it.

I cherish the time with family and friends. But I miss the quiet time at home just the same. Of course, I’m sure if all I had was quiet time alone, I’d miss the hustle and bustle of family and friends.

I hope you’ve enjoyed your holiday season, whether you spent it chasing toddlers, sharing old stories with family or friends, or cherishing your own company. And I hope the New Year brings everything you’re hoping for.