Friday, March 21, 2014

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Last week, Lizzie went back to the midwest for her regular family visit. I was a "bachelor" for a week (of course, I had my son, daughter, daughter's boyfriend and granddaughter in the house, so how much of a "bachelor" could I be?). When she moved in with me from the midwest to LA we agreed she'd be able to go home to her family a few times a year. This was one such visit.

So what happens to our D/s when she's gone? Oddly, I find her leaving our House totally different from when I leave. And I leave a lot. I travel frequently for business. But when I do, she's in our home. I know she'll follow her schedule that we've set up. But when she leaves home, I know her schedule is upset, her routines put in disarray.

But all our protocols and D/s are not thrown out the window. We have many protocols that are now engrained, completely a part of her/our routine—things that began long ago even before she moved in with me.

Our protocol begins when she awakes. She texts me "good morning." When she leaves the house she checks in with a text. When she goes somewhere she checks in. When she comes home she checks in again.

At the end of each day, she sends me an email telling me what she did and gives me her goals for the next. I adjust or approve in a response accordingly.

All this happened on the trip. Sometimes, we have "phone sex" and I control her orgasms. This trip, she was so booked solid with seeing friends and family that we had zero time for our kinky interactions. Before she moved, she'd send me nude selfies often, usually after a shower or bath or at the gym in the locker room. She only had time for one such photo set this time.

I missed her, no doubt. I love her and have grown to appreciate—and expect—her doting service. She loves to serve me. Loves to do my bidding. So while I used to (before Lizzie) look forward to my "alone time" as a way to breathe and get a break from the constant interaction, I miss Lizzie, our intimacy and her touch.

When I picked her up from LAX I was pleased to see her. Pleased to have her in my arms. Pleased to have her in my House. She is my girl, my pet, my baby. I missed her and I'm glad she's home.
I know that I’m incredibly lucky to be able to visit my family back in Kansas as often as I do. This past week was a whirlwind of activity as I reconnected with my family and old friends. Juggling the variety of schedules can be a little bit challenging, but I was delighted to see everyone.

I got a chance to visit my little brother’s new house and play with his delightful 2-year old (the youngest of my nieces and nephews). Inadvertently, I scheduled my visit so I could attend my oldest niece’s eighteenth birthday part. Another niece and nephew invited themselves to a sleepover at my house the last night I was in town.

In addition to all the munchkins, I spent time with each of my siblings, my parents, and several old friends. A week seems like a long time, until you try to catch up with twenty-three people.

Our contract doesn't involve my relationships with my biological family, but that doesn’t mean our D/s and protocols disappear when I go to visit. Many things continue uninterrupted.

I text Craig “good morning” when I wake up, regardless of where we are or the time difference between us. This lets him know that I’m awake and available to respond. I send a text when I go to bed for the night, as well, for similar reasons.

I text anytime I leave the house, in part so that he will know where I am headed but also so he will know if I am driving that I will not be able to respond for a certain amount of time. I send a text when I get to a destination and when I leave again, and I send a text when I get home.

If I’m going to do anything else that puts me away from my phone or non-responsive (if I’m going to take a shower or a bath, if I’m going for a walk, if I’m having a deep conversation with someone, or if I’m going to take a nap), I send a text for that as well.

At the end of every day, I send him an email giving him a summary of my day. He knows, of course, from all those texts, but it’s an opportunity to share any thoughts or issues that didn’t come up in text or weren’t appropriate to discuss at that time. I also send him my to-do list for the following day, so that he can make adjustments, if necessary, and he knows what my goals will be.

Sometimes my trips back to the farm feel very much like the time before I moved out here. This one was too busy for that. I enjoyed myself, but I longed to be back home.

Home is an odd word. When I’m here, “home” could just as easily refer to the farm as to our house. When Craig and I visit the farm together, it’s the same way - “home” could mean our house in California or our house in Kansas. But when I travel to Kansas by myself, “home” is just one place - in California, with Craig.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Conquest

The first Friday of the month is Conquest at our local dungeon, the dom male/sub female night. We try to go every Conquest.

We found ourselves at the top of a new month with another Conquest. We had dinner with a friend and then went to Lair. Lizzie had dinner with some girlfriends and their wait at the sushi place (on a Friday—duh) went longer than expected. They didn't get back until about 10 pm.

I chatted with friends and enjoyed a cigar when the girls turned up. Lizzie and I talked a bit and then I told her I'd check out the main room to see if there was space to play. I went in and found two people sitting alone all by themselves with no one else in the room. Damn...slow night. So finding a place to play was no problem.

Lizzie is an exhibitionist and we had asked a couple friends to watch us play, so we went to our new favorite spot in the main room, a padded table on stage in the middle of the room. I laid out my implements and sat on the table as Lizzie climbed across my lap, looking sexy in a short skirt.

The OTK ramped up and soon Lizzie was fetching leather paddles for me to smack her with, still across my lap. I had her get up and put her hands on the table and present, moving from hand spanking to a strapping as well as applying other implements to her beautiful bottom.
As we discussed last week, we arranged to have only one car at the Lair. We met a friend for an early dinner. It was nice to chat and catch up for a bit before going to the Lair.

When we arrived, a group of girlfriends invited me to join them for dinner at a sushi place. I wasn’t at all hungry, but I went along for the great company. We enjoyed a lively discussion about pain processing, obscene gestures, and clit caning - just to name a few of the more memorable highlights. Some of these topics, or perhaps the gales of laughter inspired by some of our comments, drew more than a few glances from our fellow diners.

I found the pain processing discussion particularly enlightening. I’m a masochist, some might even accuse me of being a heavy masochist. But I came into it naturally. My body simply processes most pain* in a pleasurable way. It was interesting to hear how other girls consciously redirect or process pain. Both the similarities and the differences in how we experience impact play, and other play, gave me a new perspective on something I love so much.

But all that made us late getting back to the Lair.
I get a kind of tunnel vision when I play, part borne by the intensity and scrutiny I put into the scene but also when I hit topspace I really get blinders on and only see the person I'm playing with. I hit topspace in this scene, but somehow managed to register that practically everyone had gathered to watch us from around the Lair (did I mention it had been a slow night?).

I was feeling very physical that night, opting often to drop my implement in favor of more hand play—spanking, smacking, slapping—not just on her bottom but her back, shoulders, sides, thighs and legs. Lizzie leaned into all of it.

I went to use a strap, but evidently couldn't find the proper angle on it as Lizzie politely whispered to me, "It's all hitting on one side." Frustrated I couldn't get it right, I had her lie on the padded table, knowing I'd have the desired angle and effect. It did the trick. But the moment I put her on the table I realized I'd sacrificed giving her the cane, something I had been eager to do a lot of that night. I knew I'd never get her back off the table again.

A variety of other implements later (and even more people coming in to watch us, the scene ended. We were both dripping sweat, and I don't think it was that warm in the room. It just had been an intense scene. There was little aftercare as Lizzie came back quickly and whispered, "Ugh, I'm too hot." So we got up and packed our bags, another wonderful and intense scene complete.

After all, living together means that aftercare is continuous (see my post on the subject here).
I changed and we caught up with friends before we decided to play. I’m an exhibitionist, so I was undeterred by Craig’s description that playing in the main room would mean “putting on a show”. In fact, that sounded good to me!

We settled into one of my favorite spots, right in the center of the main room. Another scene was ongoing as we cleaned up and set up. It was a slow night, but I noticed that most of the crowd trickled inside after we came in.

Craig started with me across his lap. It felt like I was there longer than usual, but it’s impossible for me to really tell. Time does funny things when we play. It’s all very fluid and flexible from my perspective.

I could tell Craig was really getting into the scene. There’s a different feel to it when he hits his Topspace. I’ve never watched us play, of course, so I don’t know if anyone else would be able to tell. During this scene, I could feel the energy between us. For me, it’s like the calm at the eye of a storm - we have an intimate connection, surrounded by wild, untamed energy.

After the scene, I was overheated, despite drinking water during the scene. Craig decided to clean up quickly and make our way outside, where it was cooler. I get a certain, giddy high after a heavy impact scene like this - something one of the girls described as being “almost stumbling drunk but without alcohol”. I think that’s as good a description as any. We hung out outside for awhile, but I was pretty out of it.

Someone who had seen the scene remarked much later that the aftercare seemed very abbreviated. The way I see it, our aftercare began much earlier with the plan to ensure that I did not have to drive myself home after we played. We stopped for food after leaving the Lair, which is also important for me. (Yes, I had two dinners, played, and needed a third dinner.) We finished the evening curled up in bed at home.

*There are many types of pain that I do not process into pleasure, such as dental work. I’m not sure if that’s just annoying or if it proves that I’m not totally a freak.

Friday, March 7, 2014

Domestic Life, Randomly

We have an intense scene planned for tonight, but we've found a few opportunities to play at home over the last couple weeks.
I feel most of our blogs begin with "things have been really busy lately" far too often. Yeah, yeah, you must say. We're all busy!" You're right. We all are. So anyway, things have been really busy lately. With BOLD now a happy memory, we've settled back into whatever routine our busy lives fit within.

We've had odd pockets of time alone in the last few weeks (see our post, "Stolen Moments" here). Almost guerilla-like scenes have appeared as time has become available. No one's home? BAM! An OTK. The house is empty? BAM! Lizzie is out grabbing stuff for a lovely, quiet dinner alone from Trader Joes whilst I prepare for a scene with all our favorite implements.

The other night, Lizzie sheepishly came up to me while I brushed my teeth to get ready for bed and said, "Will you cane me?" Lizzie almost never actually asks for things like this, even though I encourage her to do so.

Of course, I was happy to oblige. The next night, the same thing happened. Another request, another caning, followed by a long hug and much cuddling in bed.
As Craig says, we do keep ourselves busy. But in the past two weeks, as we recovered from BOLD, we found a few stolen moments to play.

Anytime we find ourselves alone at home, we sneak in a quick scene. In the past two weeks, the kids have miraculously arranged their activities at the same time to leave us the house. The first time was only a short span of time, leaving us just enough time for a lovely, OTK spanking.

The second time, the kids made their own dinner plans (for the first time ever). After a quick shopping trip, I put on some lingerie to cook dinner for Craig. We enjoyed ourselves so much that we were just sitting down for our dinner (me safely back in pajamas) when the kids returned from their evening activities.

Even with the kids at home, we’ve had a couple silent scenes. The other night, I knelt on the floor beside Craig while he was getting ready for bed. He looked at me like I was crazy for a moment, but when he asked what I wanted, I managed to ask him to cane me. He did. And it was just as wonderful as I could hope.
Today, Lizzie and I drove together to my work. Tonight we are going to the Lair and we really don't like the idea of driving two cars home after we've played. Never quite sure what condition she'll be in after a scene. So we've gotten into the routine of her riding in with me, dropping me off, and her taking the car back, so when she comes to meet me in the evening to go out we only have the one car.

She was still in her "pajamas" on the ride into work this early morning: a t-shirt and her flannel Victoria's Secret shorts. The shorts are rather short, exposing most of her slender, long legs. As we neared the office I told her to spread her legs so I could leave her a lasting impression of me. Her eyes widened. Lizzie knew: I was going to give her what some call "thigh turkeys" but we call "skeleton hand" (because the imprint of both my hand and the bones in my hand leave positive/negative impressions on her skin—maybe we should have named this "X-ray hand").

So she hiked up what little of her short-shorts were in the way, spread her legs and bit her lip, preparing for the what was to follow. I lined up while we were stopped at the last traffic light before we got to my office and I smacked her thigh. Hard. "It could have been harder," I said.

As she hissed breath through her mouth she shakily replied, "Harder???" A moment later we arrived at my office and we took a few quick pics of her skeleton hand.

Later in the morning, after she had gotten home (we live 38 miles from my office and she had made a stop at a store) and another hour or two had passed beyond her drive time she texted me: NOT REALLY FADED with a photo of my handprint still on her thigh. Can you high-five yourself without looking stupid?
Tonight, we are going to the Lair. I hate driving at night - I’m practically night-blind and with LA traffic, the lights are just too much. And I never feel entirely comfortable driving after a lengthy scene. So we’ve made a habit of organizing our lives so that we only end up with one car at the Lair. (When that doesn’t work out, we often leave one car at Craig’s office and retrieve it the following day. I can hardly wait until we move!)

So this morning, I rode with Craig to his office. I didn’t bother to get dressed, because I was only along for the ride. Craig decided that my bare legs provided him a lovely opportunity to leave a “skeleton hand”.

“It should fade by the time you get home,” he said.

I reminded him that the kids would all have gone to school by the time I got home. He ordered me to move my arms out of his way.

At a stop light, he brought his hand down hard on my inner thigh.

Fuck! That hurt!

And he says he didn’t even go full strength. Seven hours later, I still have the marks from his fingers on my thigh.

Tonight, we will take the opportunity to enjoy a longer scene at Conquest. Need I say how excited I am?