Thursday, January 30, 2014

A Weekend Away

Very rarely do we get the opportunity to sneak away for a little rest, relaxation and kink. This last weekend we took off up the central California coast to do a little wine tasting and play.

Our kinky adventures began at home. We had a 15 minute window when no one was at home before we left where we had a chance for an OTK spanking to kick off the weekend.

Then, it was off in the car to our beachside inn. Once we got there, there was time for some more play before our dinner reservations. Once we enjoyed the sun setting through the fog we went back to our room and I pulled off my strapping belt from around my waist. Lizzie's favorite thing is strapping, so I could both the alarm and a sly smile cross her face—an interesting thing to see happen simultaneously.

I strapped her long and hard, followed by a leather crop, my favorite cane, a thin wood paddle and some hand spanking. Some positioning and thigh slapping later, we headed off to dinner.
It’s a sign of just how crazy our family life is at the moment that we can only manage 15 minutes alone in the house on a Friday morning. Not that I’m complaining, of course. And I certainly cannot complain about the way Craig took advantage of that 15 minutes. We started the weekend with a condensed version of our traditional OTK session, followed by a lovely strapping.

Hours of driving later, we arrived at the beachside inn. Our room was fantastic, with a patio that overlooked the ocean. Just amazing.

Craig had asked me to pack “a paddle of my choice,” “a cane of my choice,” and “an implement I thought he would like to use.” I ended up packing two paddles - unable to choose between one I enjoyed and one I needed. He, obligingly, used both. My cane of choice is, it seems, also *his favorite cane. But his belt, as is often the case, was my favorite.
Saturday we went wine tasting, coming back again around sunset. Lizzie and I walked along the cliffs, going to a promontory to watch the waves crash against the craggy shoreline in the dimming light. I reached around, undid her jeans from behind, slid them down and—making sure no one was approaching—proceeded to spank her before bending her over for some truly public sex.

Back again to the room. Lizzie, at my instruction, had brought along the rope she had given me for Xmas, and I tried my hand at my newfound rope binding skills, ending in a lovely caning and some anal play.
After wine tasting on Saturday, we went for a lovely walk along the ocean. We had walked the boardwalk the day before, but Saturday’s wine tasting had us feeling adventurous, I guess. As darkness fell and the crowds disappeared, Craig pulled down my jeans and spanked me - right out in public! And then he took off his belt and strapped me! And did other unmentionable things, most of which he has mentioned.

Back in our room, we had several more scenes. Rope bondage, more impact play, even a clothes pins scene. And somewhere in there, dinner, but it’s all blurred together.

The rope bondage was particularly spectacular this weekend. We've learned so much. And practicing is so much fun!
Whenever we fly or drive anywhere for a weekend away she always sheepishly asks if she could please feel it on the ride home. She squirms in her seat and complains about how her bottom hurts and she loves every minute of it. (This I do not fully understand.) So on Sunday, before we left to head home, I got out the cane once again and made sure her bottom was beyond red and well into marked and bruising before making our trek back to L.A.

It's always great to have these relaxing weekends where we can reconnect, get time to ourselves, play and appreciate our dynamic.
On Sunday morning, I noticed that Craig left his cane with the things I was not to pack. Aside for the obvious packing complications, I knew this meant he intended to use it after we had gotten ready to leave. He knows me so well.

I got a lovely caning on top of the bruises and welts I had acquired over the weekend. A lovely end to our weekend away.

I enjoy our weekends away. Not just the play, though there is plenty of that, but the opportunity to reconnect. It’s our chance to cuddle up and just be.

* At spanking parties, Tops often ask what my favorite implement is. It varies. I usually ask what their favorite is before answering. I’ve found that I will enjoy their favorite implement best - because they are familiar with it, because they enjoy using it, because they are comfortable and confident using it, or simply because I enjoy pleasing people. It amuses me that “the cane of my choice” is one Craig describes as his “favorite cane”.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Together We Grow

The other day, Craig stopped in our bathroom and stared at my towel. I looked from my towel, randomly flung on the bar, to his perfectly folded towel. We talked about how living together has changed our lives. The towels, of course, tell their own story.

One of the powerful things about being responsible for someone are the gifts you get back in return.

As my relationship with Lizzie began to grown and our dynamic became more serious, we talked a great deal about what each of us needed. Aside from love, giving and receiving pain, a connection, a caring and honest relationship I soon realized Lizzie needed structure. She needed consequences. She needed guiding.

We started a series of reports and check-ins. There would be consequences if she didn't do as she needed. This only grew when she came to Los Angeles and moved into my home and my life.
Craig brings order to my life. It started when we lived miles apart, when I would send him pictures each week to show that I was keeping my mail and laundry under control. When I moved, it was easy to transition into taking care of our house. And when we moved into our first home together, everything was unpacked and in place within a week. (My parent's visit the week after we moved provided plenty of motivation, but it was more than that.)

Left to my own devices, I don't keep things as neat as I would like. But I love having a place for everything. And knowing how much it means to Craig makes it easy to keep things put away. I'm far from perfect, but I like to think I keep our house reasonably tidy.
But we have given each other so much. I have provided her the structure and focus and consequence she craved. Lizzie has given me her attention, her care, her love, her heart and as she would call it, her "whole self." She is mine. And her doting, her constant affection and her need to be mastered has fed me.

On my blog and to my friends I said my awakening in the lifestyle showed me how intimacy was missing from my life. I said I was an "emotional sponge," soaking up as much affection and intimacy as I could. That sponge was dry and had been dry for decades. Lizzie has...uh...moistened that sponge again (okay, this is where that metaphor goes wrong).

Of all the gifts Lizzie could have given this man it has been the gift of her "whole self." Not a day goes by that I'm not both amused and bemused that she would want to spend every waking moment with me. I am a better person because of need for discipline and the joy we share in our dynamic and relationship.
Craig also brings structure to my life. I've always had trouble setting goals and following through on things. But even when I lived halfway across the country, he helped me break down the tasks and he followed up to see that I had done them.

Now, I email Craig at the end of each day. I tell him what I accomplished for the day and I send a list of what I plan to do the next day. He helps me remember my long term goals and keeps me on track. I'm able to do so much more with his help.

Craig helps with so many of my ADHD struggles, so I can focus on what is important to us both - love, attention, and service. He gives me the structure and consequences I need to be my best. Because I want to give him my best self, it works out very nicely.

Because of his structure and support, we are able to explore our dynamic and our relationship further. He’s given me a wonderful gift, improving my life and sharing his life with me.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Outing to the Outed

Last weekend, we unexpectedly decided to out ourselves to a small group of friends. We picked an understanding group and it went well. We've written our accounts of how we outed ourselves and what it means to us. Our stories are a bit different, showing our individual perspectives.

An Unexpected Moment A Wedding Outing
Lizzie and I went out for a very special night Sunday night. Two of our friends who have been a couple for 18 years could finally get married because of the Supreme Court validating the ruling for gay marriage. I am an ordained priest with the Universal Church of Modesto, California (I know, aren't we all?) and have performed three prior marriages, but this was to be my first same sex marriage.

The couple really didn't want a big deal. Just a few close friends to witness. The "ceremony" was to be performed in the bar at The Magic Castle, one of their favorite haunts. Afterward, we went to the spectacular Japanese restaurant in the Hollywood Hills, Yamashiro.

After the very lovely vows (I got a little verklempt I must say) we went to celebrate over Japanese food and drinks.
I was pleased to be included in our friends’ small wedding ceremony, even if I was the only female in the group and the only one carded for entry to The Magic Castle. As I’ll get to later, our recent double date with this couple did not end particularly well.

The exchange of vows was quite lovely. In fact, the entire party was in tears. (Don’t let Craig fool you, he was crying with everyone else.) The toasts and stories offered by the witnesses were equally touching.

These stories offered a glimpse of the family these two wonderful men have created - weekly “family” dinners and friendship more supportive than most biological families. I see that developing with our kinky friends. And I want that. More than anything. Even more than having the opportunity to play more often, developing those relationships with our friends is the reason I look forward to our move.
The guys (they were all guys, Lizzie the only female in the group) went around the table to tell how they had met each other. Each story got wilder and more risque and entertaining. Finally, one in the group said, "So how did you two meet?"

Lizzie looked to me and I looked back. I raised my eyebrows and shrugged to her. "We met at a spanking party." That got a huge laugh and many "huzzahs!" and similar from the group. I didn't presume I would shock this bunch, given the stories they were telling, but one of the married couple I'd just hitched works for me and has for almost a decade and had been friends with for almost 20 years. This could have been a surprise to him.

I looked at him inquisitively. He shook his head. "I'm not surprised."

We talked a little more about it, but for these bears, there was nothing shocking from our revelation.
The first question to settle at dinner was whether we were having cocktails or wine. Settled on cocktails, one of the group asked Craig and I, “So how did you two meet?”

Craig looked at me, “Should we tell them the real story?”

I was surprised, but relieved, that Craig was ready to abandon the “writer’s convention” story he typically uses. It’s difficult for me to lie, especially to people I would like to get to know better. It just doesn’t sit well - that’s why I’m out to my family and the majority of my friends. So I agreed.

“We met at a spanking party,” Craig said. A few questions (we met at a Shadowlane party, which is always fun to describe), much laughter, and the group moved on to entertain us with stories of bear conventions.

When Craig looked at his friend, his friend said, “Of all the things I know about Craig...well...that fits.”
Instead, what it did for us was amazing. At a prior dinner with the married couple a few months ago, Lizzie needed some...well...lets just say "correcting." Had we been with lifestyle friends I could have pulled this off without a hitch. Since I was with "vanilla" (a loose term with these two to be sure) I had to reign it in, which we both regretted later. She needed correcting and she knew it and I wanted to do it but couldn't.

(In the moment, Lizzie had had just a wee bit too much to drink. She knew she'd pushed it. What needed to happen was I should have turned to our friends and said, "Pardon us for a moment. I need to take Lizzie to the restroom for some correction." I would have taken a firm grip on her wrist and dragged her to the men's room [a one-staller with a locking door] to put her in the corner to consider her excess.)

We had both lamented that we wished we could have been honest with our friends.

Outing ourselves to these two was low risk, but for us it felt right and we know that the next time we get together with them we will be able to be ourselves and be honest with them. That kind of freedom is liberating and lightening.
I’ll start with what happened when we last went out to dinner with this couple. I was nervous - these are Craig’s good friends, people I wanted to get to know better. I drank my wine too quickly. And, to be honest, I became a bit of a brat pushing Craig to order more wine.

That was the last thing I needed, but I suppose I was also pushing Craig a bit. My theory is that he was overthinking this “act vanilla” thing we were doing, because he just kept getting me more to drink. I’m not sure why “vanilla boyfriend” became “pushover boyfriend”, but I didn’t like it.

(To say nothing of the results - I fell that evening in the bathroom, hit my head, and bled so much I had the entire wait staff trying to convince us to get an ambulance. I was fine; head wounds are bloody. But we had to cut our evening short.)

I’ve been uncomfortable with passing, particularly as a couple, since. Sometimes I need Craig to tell me no, regardless of who we are with at the time. I need our dynamic, all the time. When it isn’t there, I’m decidedly worse for the absence. I end up pushing Craig, trying to find it, and nothing good comes of that.

I honestly don’t love the idea of the correction Craig described. But for whatever twisted process that passes for reason in my head, his simple willingness to carry it out keeps me from needing him to carry it out most of the time.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Flash Fuction

For this piece, Craig selected three pictures and wrote his story. Lizzie wrote her story using his pictures and matching his story length. We hope you enjoy two different tales ignited by these pictures.

Follow Instructions Give Us a Show
He texted her: Do not touch yourself. No orgasms until I get back from my business trip!

She was soooo horny and he knew it! It was almost that time of month and she...well, she went crazy at that time of month. What was she supposed to do? She was only human, after all! It would be two days until he was home from his trip.

The first day, she was good, she did as she was told, she followed instructions. The second day, with him coming home in twelve hours or so, she was so hot, so horny. She couldn't wait! She climbed into the shower and, well, took care of business.
She heard him open the front door just as she was preparing to step into the shower. Curious, she paused. She heard him make his way through the house, probably drawn to the sound of running water.

He opened the bathroom door and peeked in. She was standing naked in front of the shower.

“Wanna join me?” she asked.

“Not tonight,” he nodded to the bedroom visible through one shower wall, “I’ll be in the bedroom. Give us a show.”

She knew what he wanted.
After she had come and had dried off from her shower she felt guilty. She had touched herself. She hadn't followed instructions. Well, what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him, after all.

He got home from his business trip, coming into their flat dragging his bag behind him, exhausted from the long international flight. She hugged him with a big smile. "I missed you!" she exclaimed. "You've been gone so long!"

"What's up?" he asked immediately. "What did you break?"

"Nothing!" she said. "Nothing at all!" He eyed her suspiciously.

"Something isn't right." He looked around the flat. Everything seemed to be in order. "Wait. Did you touch yourself? Have you orgasmed?"

She looked down at the floor, unable to lie to him. "Maybe..."

"Maybe or you did?" he asked, grabbing her face and making her look at him.

"I, uh, I did...I guess. I think. Maybe."

"Take off that dress and bend over."

"But daddy!" she exclaimed. "I couldn't help it!!"

"You couldn't help it? Were you completely out of control? Were you unable to control your faculties?"

"No..."

He spanked her then. Hard. With no warm up. Straight to it, scolding all the way.
She let the water stream down her body after finishing a perfunctory shower. She could see him on the bed, a figure hidden in shadow. But the heat of the water was causing the glass to steam, soon she would not see him at all.

She pressed her body against the glass. This was not the first time he had requested a show through the shower wall. She knew what he liked to see. And she did as he liked, pressing her breasts against the glass before turning to present her bottom. It was a dance, a tease, and something she enjoyed.

She turned off the water and continued her show. Always a sensation whore, she could not resist the pull of the cool glass. She spread herself and pressed her hips against the wall.

“Get in here!” he yelled from the bedroom.

She jumped out of the shower and ran into the bedroom without bothering to use a towel. She only took two steps into the bedroom before stopping in shock. He was not alone on the bed. The couple with him were watching her with eager eyes.

“You are dripping on the floor, little one. Why didn’t you get a towel?”

“Uh…” her brain seemed to have frozen at the unexpected sight.

“Get over here!” he growled.

When she approached, he pulled her right across his lap. Now he didn’t seem to notice the water dripping off her body. No, his attention was taken by more important things - spanking her wet bottom.
Next, he pulled out the cane case from the closet. "Pick the one you like the least," he said. She knew this could be tricky. If she selected one she favored she knew he would know it and he would select something else that would be painful and not at all fun. This, clearly, was not a funishment. If she picked the worst one, the stingy carbon fiber cane that she hated, she wouldn't sit easily for a day.

She picked a Lexan cane she disliked, but it was a bit thicker than the carbon fiber. "Not the carbon fiber?" he asked immediately. His eyes bored into her.

"I don't like that either, but the Lexan one right now will be bad." It wasn't a lie. She hoped he wouldn't her carefully chosen words. He seemed to accept what she said, or at the very least was too tired to switch it up and turn it into a thing. He caned her with the Lexan. It was hard. Like the spanking, it was harsh. It hurt like hell.

Afterward, he had her stand up and he held her. "Why didn't you do what I told you to?" he whispered in her ear as he rubbed her sore bottom.

"I...I was just horny?"

"Insatiable slut," he said, chuckling. "Now get dressed. We're going to that restaurant with the wood stools you dislike so much."

She groaned in frustration, but as she turned away, he caught a glimpse of a slight smile on her face.
Judging by the approving sounds they made, the couple was enjoying this show as much as they had enjoyed her first show from the shower. He spanked her hard, but he was still able to smile at the couple's approving comments. Spanking his little girl was another show. One he was happy to participate in.

"Find me a cane, little one. I think they'd like to see."

"Oh yes, please!" came the female voice.

"Always love to watch your work," added the male voice.

She ran into the closet and returned promptly with his favorite cane. She flashed a smile at the girl on the bed, "If you ask him nicely, he might cane you next."

"Wouldn't say no," he growled as he took the cane from her hand. "But you first. Show us how much you enjoy it."