Thursday, November 28, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving

On behalf of myself and Lizzie we would like to wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving. Even if you're from Canada and have had Thanksgiving already or are from some of the many other countries that check out our blog—we are extremely thankful to have you as our readers.

So, in honor of Turkey Day, I've decided to truss up LIzzie. Don't worry, I only eat the white meat (on Lizzie, I mean).

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Craig & Lizzie

Thursday, November 21, 2013

The Future of Our Dynamic

We are anticipating some big changes in the next year. Last weekend, we were touring houses (a frequent occupation these days) and we started talking about the future. We decided it would make an interesting topic to write about.

What We Have In Store Changes
Living with two of my kids and a granddaughter is challenging. Not because of all the chaos, activities, constant companions and events that occur, and not simply because we cannot explore our kink at our discretion. Our D/s has deepened over time, the exploration of which has been innate...natural. What Lizzie needs and what I want so enmeshed in our common desires and goals as to be almost unbelievable.

But with such a full house our dynamic is stifled. We have our little things:

When I go upstairs to change out of my business clothes and into my typical t-shirt and gym shorts, Lizzie comes up stairs, kneels outside of my closet and undresses me. It's a powerful moment, every night. It is a power exchange and a show of her service to me. After, as part of our ritual, I take her by the wrists and lift her to standing, kissing her on the forehead and telling her she is a "good girl." I am always touched by the sharp intake of breath I hear when she hears those words.

When we eat, Lizzie will wait until I take the first bite (or if we are having a cocktail or wine, she'll wait until I take the first sip [generally]) as a sign of deference to me.

When we get up on the weekends, she will make my coffee and when it's done dripping into the pot, will pour me a cup and hand it to me with both hands, looking me in the eye and saying, "Here's your coffee, sir."

These things may seem trite to some, but they are a part of our ritual, our dynamic, but are such little things. We want more.
Exploring our dynamic has been a complicated process. Initially, I believe, our dynamic was the combination of who I am (certain aspects of submission and service that come from my personality and the way I was raised) and Craig’s acceptance of me. Over time, we became comfortable with that and sought to enhance and further it.

Our long distance relationship stifled some of those attempts, but it also served to enrich our discussion. We wrote long emails, explored ideas through stories, and talked for hours on the phone. We developed our own vocabulary, as we quickly discovered that neither traditional English nor kink jargon would serve - too many words held different or flexible meanings to allow clear communication.

Craig has described our ritual at home very well. These things may seem silly, but they are surprisingly important.

For the last month, I was in a cam-boot, with strict orders not to put any weight on my right foot. (The doctor was surprised how compliant I had been with these orders. Thank you, Craig...that’s the first time a doctor has referred to me as “compliant”.) During that time, Craig did not want me to worry about our rituals. He wanted to take care of me.

But that didn’t work out. We both missed our quiet time alone when he changed. That is one time, every day, that we focus on our dynamic. We used a modified version - he had to help me down to the floor and back up - but it worked. I couldn’t carry his coffee with my crutches, but I could make it and fill his cup. It worked.
Dynamic in the Future Looking Forward
I'm not talking about Jetsons-style flying machines. Next year, my son heads off to college. My daughter and granddaughter will move out when Lizzie and I move closer to the city to have our own place. It it there and then that our lives will change because we will be closer to my work friends, closer to our lifestyle friends and finally in a place where we can explore our dynamic.

We have most, if not all, of our rituals already planned out. They are expressed in a living document we share and add onto and review. There will be the obvious spankings, bondage, beatings and the like—both alone and with others. We want to add a third person to our lives, to explore our poly leanings. Lizzie is happily bi (or pansexual depending on your definitions) and we want to enjoy another that we can share our experiences with in a caring, loving, D/s relationship more full time than some of the rather part time (or party time) experiences we've had before.

So...a lot of change in the future. A future we contemplate frequently and a future we can wait to experience.
We are quickly approaching another big change in our lives (the first being my move out to California). In addition to the empty nest, we hope to move much closer to Craig’s office. So much closer, that I anticipate an average of three additional hours together every day. (He has an incredible commute.) Imagine having two to three more hours in the day and the freedom to use that time. The possibilities...

I’m not as confident about the rituals we have planned out, though it’s true that they are written into a living document we share. Like the move from Kansas to California, I think our move into town will bring some unexpected changes. None of our most powerful rituals today were decided (or even discussed) before I moved. And those rituals changed again when we moved earlier this year - a short move within the school district. But I am confident in our ability to mold our rituals to fit our new lives.

I look forward to the things Craig mentioned and many more. Time. Freedom. But always, our continued communication and adjustment and fulfillment.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Love Our Lurkers!

As we celebrate the second LOL on our relatively new blog, We launched in October of 2012, so technically we just had our first anniversary and we didn't even acknowledge it! In that time we've posted 50 blog posts and have racked up over 115,000 hits all over the world. Since we don't get many comments on our blog ;-) we can only assume that there are a LOT of lurkers out there!

So...happy Love Our Lurkers Day!

We genuinely appreciate you. We're glad you visit. We appreciative you take the time to come back. Lurkers or commenters, we're glad you're here. Thank you for making us a stop on your kinky internet forays!

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Homework

A number of weeks past we blogged about our intro into rope play. You can read about it here. Patrick, the rope master who gave us our tutorial, assigned us homework: try this out on our own! So we did!

Home is where the hemp is Without a Script
Lizzie has been on crutches for weeks, so our ability to play has been challenging, but Lizzie (rather instantly) "suggested" we play with our rope last weekend. She hobbled onto the bed, undressed and patiently awaited for me to gather the rope.

I came back with the rope, pulled out my phone and began scrolling through photos to find the ones I had taken of Lizzie when we did our "class" at the Lair. "Don't copy what he showed you, do your own thing," she urged.

I was hesitant. I bought the book "Bondage for Sex" a long time ago. I would tie women up, going step by step in the book like an instruction manual (which it was) and would end up with varying degrees of success. Patrick showed me that there was a simple symmetry with what he did—less about complicated knots than erotic binding.
While I was intrigued by our early adventures in rope play, the more spontaneous method Patrick showed us is far more appealing to me. I have a general dislike for scripted encounters, I think. I understand that scripts work for some people - perhaps they have a very specific fantasy to play out or a particular fetish to accommodate.

But for all the stories I write, like those here, scripts are not typically part of my play. I write to explore ideas, to communicate the kink that dominates my thoughts at the time, and for the simple pleasure of getting off (and, I hope, getting my readers off). I’ve written stories that are fantasy encounters, perhaps even scenes I would enjoy...but only if the scene unfolded organically.

My favorite scenes focus on the connection between players - the particular power dynamic of the people and the moment. Rope is no different.
With Lizzie spurring me on, I set about to tying her up, remembering that it wasn't about a rote process but about the erotic connection of the two people using the rope as a means to facilitate that connection...and be impetus of the power exchange.

It worked. Lizzie fell into a daze, entranced by the rope, the bondage and the power exchange. Our eyes connected, the rope tightened, her breasts grew redder and then a purplish tinge as the rope bound further. Completely tied up and unable to move, I pushed her over onto her side, took off my pants and forced her to do things to me and then forced myself onto her, taking her fully at my pleasure.
I suppose I was not in a subtle mood - our play has been limited and I could tell that Craig was falling back into his instruction manual method. He likes to do things right, which I appreciate, but rope is not a new implement to be mastered before play.*

Instead of trying to recreate the tie we did with Patrick, I encouraged Craig to feel his way through it. I remember Patrick telling Craig there need only be one knot, at the end of a tie, and no one expected it to be up to Boy Scout standards. The power of rope is the variety of ways it can be used - binding the body to the Top’s will. But the beauty of the tie is not in the intricate or perfect pattern of the rope, instead, it is in the power exchange of the process.
It was a hot, powerful scene. I carefully undid the rope, teasing it away from her, drawing it across her flesh as she moaned and cooed and breathed deeply. Afterward, I carefully put her to bed for a nap, wrapping a blanket over her beautiful body and had her go to sleep.

I can't complain if this is what my "homework" is going to be under Patrick's expert instruction.
We had an incredible scene. The rope brought us together on a deep level. I find rope more erotic each time we play with it. This was no exception. Even before Craig finished the tie, I wanted him to take me and take advantage of me.

He did.



*I cannot overemphasise the importance of a Top’s familiarity with an implement. This is one place I will get on a soapbox (or Top from the Bottom if the situation calls for it): If you aren’t familiar with an implement, learn about it, practice with it (preferably on a pillow or other forgiving surface), take it slowly, or don’t use it at all. There is simply no excuse for causing injury due to stupidity and overconfidence. </rant>